


pinball machine and a queen, i nearly took the bus (tried to keep my hands to myself, said it's a must, but who can ya trust?)

by lovelyflowersinherhair



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Evil Geraldine Grundy | Jennifer Gibson, F/F, F/M, Gen, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, M/M, Minor Archie Andrews/Geraldine Grundy | Jennifer Gibson, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-06-26 20:40:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19776007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyflowersinherhair/pseuds/lovelyflowersinherhair
Summary: To an outsider, Riverdale seemed like the perfect town, filled with loving and caring families. The pinnacle of Americana. A place where pulling yourself up by the bootstraps still managed to mean something. Especially with the upcoming fourth of July festivities. Every year the town gathered to watch as a display was put on over the Sweetwater. It was a time for both sides of town to come together, as one, their prejudices abandoned for one blissful day.Our story doesn’t start on the fourth of July. That tale would indeed be a tragic one. One that (if it were to occur) would irreparably shatter the tenuous peace of Riverdale. Fortunately for us, our story begins on July 2nd, an ordinary, summer, day.(in which a chance encounter changes the course of everything)





	1. that same old riddle, only starts from the middle

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE BE ADVISED
> 
> This story deals with the repercussions of the Geraldine Grundy plot. She is a character in this story. The storyline will be properly dealt with instead of being ignored like in the show.

_ Maple sugaring season had come and gone, and things were still at full swing at the Blossom Maple Farms, despite the fact that the stickiness of the summer air matched the stickiness of the maple syrup. School had ended for the summer break, allowing throngs of teenagers to congregate in places like the town square, or Pop’s diner, or picnicking on the banks of the Sweetwater. The trials and tribulations of school have been put aside for three blissful months, with the exception of those who were in summer school, and a red-headed jock and his illicit paramour.  _

_ Rumors were swirling about the potential sale of the Drive In land, but the Mayor remained mysteriously silent on the subject, refusing to even comment on the potential to the paper of record. Thus, business remained as usual, with the typical fare being shown.  _

_ To an outsider, Riverdale seemed like the perfect town, filled with loving and caring families. The pinnacle of Americana. A place where pulling yourself up by the bootstraps still managed to mean something. Especially with the upcoming fourth of July festivities. Every year the town gathered to watch as a display was put on over the Sweetwater. It was a time for both sides of town to come together, as one, their prejudices abandoned for one blissful day.  _

_ But our story doesn’t start on the fourth of July. That tale would indeed be a tragic one. One that (if it were to occur) would irreparably shatter the tenuous peace of Riverdale. Fortunately for us, our story begins on July 2nd, an ordinary, summer, day. _

* * *

  
  


Alice Cooper bit back a sigh as she spotted the car that was parked haphazardly on the side of the road, nicely blocking the entrance to Fred’s construction company, and she scowled at the intrusive vehicle, as if her best glare could convince the offensive automobile to move even the slightest bit to allow her station wagon to enter the  _ construction site _ in order for her to finish her daily tasks. 

Being neighborly to Frederick was one thing, Alice reminded herself, allowing bounced checks from his business to the Register’s advertising department was entirely another ball game. Or, at least, it would be if Alice believed in debasing oneself by utilizing sports metaphors. She decidedly did not. 

She gave the horn a delicate tap. It was clear to her that the vehicle was occupied -- the poor Volkswagen was practically vibrating in response to whatever carnal actions were taking place within it -- and she was feeling charitable (Polly had broken up with the Blossom boy, and had managed to be a polite, well behaved, child for the first time in months, which Alice might have found suspicious had she not been distracted by Things To Do). It was summer, after all. A time of love. 

Or foolishness. 

Alice had been young once. 

She had been foolish.

She had had her afternoons in the back of cars. Her stolen moments. 

She would allow the young couple this. 

She was certain that Riverdale would show its cruelty to them sooner, rather than later.

Alice really didn’t want to deal with Fred. She had better things to do with her time. 

The Beetle was periwinkle in color, she noted, and she pursed her lips in disapproval of both the color scheme and the fact that an individual would own such an antique car and park it so  _ haphazardly _ on the road, as if the mood striking was more important to the twosome it contained than proper road safety. Their  _ hazards _ weren’t even on. Alice was tempted to anonymously call in a tip to the Sheriff. It would serve him right for not allowing her to tag in on those investigations. 

She caught a glimpse of red hair. 

Alice scowled. 

She  _ recognized  _ that red hair, and if Archibald Andrews had had the gall to  _ corrupt _ Elizabeth the  _ day _ before she left on her internship, Alice was going to rip him to shreds and serve him to her guests at the next neighborhood block party on toothpicks. And who on earth had gotten Archibald such a hideous vehicle? If Fred had been purchasing antique cars and not properly paying the Register their money, Alice was going to fillet him. Such frivolities were unacceptable. 

Archibald was a menace behind the wheel. He had taken out several of the neighbors’ mailboxes when Fred had been teaching him how to drive, and several years off of Alice’s life when she’d seen what he’d done to her hydrangeas. If the state of New York had actually given Archibald a license, she was going to revolt. Goodbye article after article deriding the Southside of town, hello article after article complaining about the lax standards that New York State demanded for their drivers. Alice could practically see the headlines now. She was certainly thinking them.

Corrupting her daughter’s youth  _ and _ conning some poor, senile DMV employee into giving him an unencumbered license? One, if not both, of those things had to be stopped. 

She drew in a deep breath, in an attempt to center herself, and pulled a prescription bottle out of her purse, needing the additional push towards sedation. It would do her no good if she castrated the Andrews boy in front of enemy territory, after all. No. Alice needed to wait. Lure him into a false sense of security. 

Alice prided herself in being an example to emulate, and she turned on the station wagon’s hazard lights, before she unbuckled her seat belt, and exited the vehicle, handbag in hand. Her eyes flashed with non-amusement. 

Archibald Andrews was  _ not _ a suitable choice for Alice Cooper’s daughter. She didn’t care if he wasn’t that Blossom boy. Alice was not going to stand idly by while Elizabeth made the same mistakes her sister did. 

She rapped on the passenger’s window -- not once, not twice, but three times -- not that that buffoonish oaf paid her any mind, and she bit back a sigh. 

“I know you’re in there, Archibald,” she directed into the vicinity of the Vokeswagen. “If you don’t open this door right now--”

“Mrs. Cooper?” Archibald blinked up at her with his typical, vacant, expression, and she bit back a sigh as he attempted to evade her notice of his traveling companion. “I’m kinda, you know,  _ busy _ right now.”

“With  _ my _ daughter?” Alice commanded. “I swear to you, Archibald--”

“Oh, no, not with Betty,” he said. “Have you met Ms. Grundy--I mean, Geraldine?” 

“Archie, I don’t think this is very appropriate--” 

Alice peered suspiciously into the interior of the vehicle, her gaze locking on a woman  _ entirely _ age inappropriate for someone of Archibald’s age group to engage in  _ relations _ with in general, let alone someone that Alice recognized as a member of the Riverdale High School faculty! This Grundy woman was  _ entirely _ correct, in that it was incredibly inappropriate for her to be fraternizing with students outside of school grounds, in a manner that required very little clothes to be worn by either party. 

“Do as I say,” Alice said. “Do as I say and I won’t call the Sheriff. I have him on speed dial, don’t you know?” She forced herself to affect a pleasant, yet no nonsense, tone. “Archibald, you are to step outside of this vehicle, and you are to leave your shirt where it is,” she instructed. “Do not touch anything, don’t do so much as breathe. Do I make myself clear?” 

Archibald gulped. “Crystal, Mrs. Cooper.” He scrambled out of the car. 

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” Grundy claimed. “I was only giving him a ride home!”

“Do rides home typically involve shirtless minors -- who are your students -- and yourself in a state of disrepair involving carelessly tossed brasieres?” Alice demanded. “It’s been awhile since I engaged in inappropriate at  _ best _ carnal pleasures and I seem to manage to give my children’s friends rides home without losing articles of clothing and steaming up my windows! I certainly would take special care to do so if I was an employee of the Riverdale Public School System.” She scowled. “You get out of the car, too.” 

“I don’t think so--”   
  


“Ms. Grundy, I would do as she says--”

“I thought I told you to be quiet, Archibald,” Alice hissed. “Why are you constantly incapable of  _ listening _ to me?”

“You can’t be serious,” the woman said. Alice narrowed her gaze. “He’s not even one of my students--I’m allowed to date who I want--”

“Not when ‘who you want’ is a  _ fifteen year old boy _ whose  _ diapers _ I used to change,” she informed her. “How dare you question my level of seriousness? Do you have any idea to whom you are speaking? Get out of the car  _ now _ before I take matters into my own hands and bring you straight to the police.” 

In Alice’s opinion, that was what needed to be done anyway, but she was more than willing to pawn off parenting Archibald to Frederick if he was able to do so with any sort of aplomb. Given that Fred and Mary had spent 15 years disappointing Alice with their liberal, lax, parenting skills, she was entirely dubious that he would manage to do so. But giving him the opportunity was the least she could do. Especially since she needed to deal with his bounced checks. 

If opportunity knocked, who was she to slam the door in its face?

“You wouldn’t dare--”

“Oh, I think that I definitely would,” she said. “And I assure you, not one of us involved would be happy about it.” She sighed. “Surely you want to make this easier on yourself? I mean, I’m sure that this is all a misunderstanding, and I would hate to make sure that the facts weren’t one hundred percent correct before I published the article I will be writing for tomorrow’s paper. Child predators? In our Riverdale?” She scoffed. “I mean, but you say that you’re not a child predator, right? So it won’t be any trouble for you and Archibald to accompany on my errand to Fred? Did you know Fred? He’s Archibald’s father. I’m sure he’d be very interested to brought up to speed.” 

“Fine,” Geraldine said. Her tone was clipped. Alice sensed it was really not fine at all. She really didn’t care. “Archie has been wanting me to meet his dad. I suppose that I can indulge him.” 

“Isn’t that so sweet? She wants to meet your father.” 

Alice slipped on a pair of rubber gloves (a good journalist was  _ always _ prepared) and grabbed on to Archibald’s bicep with one hand, and that woman’s with the other. If that Grundy woman thought Alice was going to be implicating herself in this debacle, she had another thing coming. 

* * *

  
  
  


“I beg your pardon?” 

“I  _ said _ that I don’t see what the big deal is,” Fred Andrews repeated, seemingly oblivious to the alarming heights Alice could feel her eyebrows rising to, and the glances that those insipid minions that he had replaced FP Jones with were exchanging with one another. It was a cold day in hell that Alice wanted to agree with people that had clearly conspired with Fred to ensure FP went down a path of debauchery, but that day had clearly come, much to her silent horror. “Why can’t she give him a ride home?” 

“Their ‘ride home’ didn’t involve much if any clothing!” Alice exclaimed. “I don’t understand how your mind works, Fred! Selling materials from your job sites is a crime worthy of tar and feathering and trumped up charges designed to ensure that you could fire someone whose  _ child _ was in the hospital, but your child being groomed and sexually violated by a person in a position of authority is ‘not a big deal’? Perhaps if you examined and worked on your priorities, Archibald would not be in this situation, and you would not be forced to parent for once in your life.” 

“Don’t tell me you believe him!”

Alice drew in a deep breath. “Believe whom? I don’t have to believe people when I have front row seats to a showing of pornography!”

“I’m talking about FP Jones,” Fred said. Alice gaped. “He’s a drunk, Alice. I don’t even think that there were medical bills to pay. He just had excuse after--”

“We are not focusing on FP now,” she interjected. “We are focusing on the fact that your son and one of the teachers at his school are engaging in highly inappropriate sexual acts. Stop trying to distract me by dredging up things that have  _ nothing _ to do with this situation.” 

Except for the fact that Alice would bet her house on Elm Street that if Jughead was the one who had been sexually assaulted by a teacher, FP would have actually done something about it, even if his actions were through dubious, illegal, means. 

“I tried telling Mrs. Cooper that it’s  _ not _ inappropriate,” Archie insisted. “Geraldine and I, we have something real, Dad. It’s not just a summer fling. We see a future together.” 

And Alice saw a future with a bottle of tequila. That didn’t mean that either future was in any way shape or form a good thing to be encouraged. 

“Did she tell you that?” Alice demanded. “Go ahead, Geraldine, share with the class what you and Archibald have been discussing.” 

Geraldine cleared her throat. “Just that when my divorce is finalized, and Archie graduates high school, we’re going to become an official couple. Archie is going to become a world famous musician, and I am going to return to my studies at Julliard.” 

“You do realize how utterly ridiculous this sounds, right? You can’t seriously think that this  _ dalliance _ is in any way appropriate for your child to embark upon? Does the name Mary Kay Letourneau mean  _ anything _ to you?” 

“It’s complicated, Alice.”

“What, precisely, is complicated about this? There is nothing complicated about it at all! You turn her into the Sheriff and let the wheels of justice take over--”

“That’s only if Archie’s not happy with things,” Fred said. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with him having a crush, Alice. Better on Geraldine than Betty.” 

“Fine,” she said, after a moment. “If you want to be involved in this foolish game of whatever the hell these two have going on, you be my guest. If you think for  _ one second _ that I am content to just wait around until things  _ aren’t _ complicated? You have another thing coming.” 

She drew in a deep breath. “By the way, Fred? Your checks keep bouncing. You don’t want to make Harold angry.” 

“Aren’t you going to apologize?” 

“Apologize? Hah.” Alice rolled her eyes heavenward. “I have nothing to apologize for.” 

  
  



	2. but can you tell me how they all knew the plan?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I’m just saying, it ain’t right. A teacher and a student. And it wasn’t right what you and FP’s old lady did to get him busted, neither.”

“What do you mean by that?” Fred demanded, his tone entirely too whiny for the circumstances, and Alice sneered in his direction. “You aren’t Archie’s parent--he’s  _ my _ son. Just because you think that it’s appropriate to keep your daughters under lock and key doesn’t mean that I have to be so restrictive of my son.” 

“You can’t be serious? You really think that allowing Archibald to be groomed by a sexual predator is being a good father? What if Mary was here? What would she say?” 

“Mary left,” he spat. “I’m his father.” 

“Believe me,” she said, and she rolled her eyes. “I am entirely all too aware what you are, and who you are in charge of failing to parent.” Alice crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I don’t particularly care what you think of me, Fred. I am well aware about your feelings about people of my pedigree, and I don’t appreciate how you handled the situation with FP. I let that slide! He’s better of leading a den of snakes than being your lackey. I cannot let this utter lack of regard for Archibald’s safety and his...this is ridiculous!”   
  


“Of course it’s ridiculous,” he said. “I’m not going to change my  _ parenting _ just because you don’t like Archie’s girlfriend, Alice. Just because she has a past? She’s not the only one here with a past, now, is she? You think I don’t remember all about you, Alice? How you--”

“I am telling you now, you need to be quiet, Fred,” Alice hissed, her tone deathly low. “Shut the  _ fuck _ up. You want to be an accessory to a crime? Fine. Be my guest. I will not be a part of it.” 

“She’s not wrong, Fred--”   
  


“Vic, she has this stupid grudge against my teenage son--”

“I’m just saying, it ain’t right. A teacher and a student. And it wasn’t right what you and FP’s old lady did to get him busted, neither.” 

“Vic! We don’t need--”

Alice unbuttoned her blouse ever so slightly, allowing herself to reveal a sliver of cleavage, and she glided across the office’s floor to where Vic and the other moron stood, a beatific expression on her face. 

“Frederick,” she cautioned, her voice honeyed. “If Vic wants to tell his story, why don’t we let him? Certainly it would be more preferable to my lecturing of three brick walls.”

“I’m telling you,” Vic said. “FP’s old lady came around all pissed off that he wanted to go straight, that he wanted to take on more of a leadership role here at the company. I had to admit it was almost refreshing to think about. Fred only likes to do things how his dad did them back when he was alive. We barely convinced him to upgrade to that computer.” Alice could see that the computer in question was essentially a large paperweight. She bit back a sigh. “Freddie here, he got real pissed off at that--”

“The way my dad did things was fine--”

“Are you forgetting that your father dropped dead back in the nineties?” Alice said flatly. “Why on earth would you  _ not _ want to innovate things? I wouldn’t be surprised if he was alive when that computer was made.” Alice was not happy. “Are you telling me that you and Gladys Jones conspired together to frame FP for crimes that he did not do?” 

“He’s a Southsider. It wasn’t that difficult.” 

“And then you fired him because, what? That useless washed up torch singer couldn’t be assed to consider a life that wasn’t a life of crime? After all the sacrifices that I made for FP, you couldn’t ever be happy with him getting ahead? You just  _ had _ to put a stop to him getting past where he was born, the  _ life _ his parents brought him into?”

“It’s just business, Alice--”   
  


“No. It’s just you banking on FP not knowing the proper channels of how to do things, and this shit ass town playing into your plots! First FP, now you letting your son  _ fuck _ his music teacher because you don’t like how half of this room, not just me, disapproves?” 

“Well of course you don’t--”

“I am leaving, Fred. Don’t you dare say another damn word.”

Alice knew it was juvenile to slam the door behind her, but slam the door behind her she did, and smirked with satisfaction when the slightest bit of force made the door fall off its hinges. To say she was annoyed was a massive understatement.

She was, in fact, blinded by rage as she stalked in the direction of her car, somehow managing to wait until she had gotten into the vehicle to take her pack of menthols out of her purse and light one up. She was in approximately no state to drive. 

Or to notice the pickup truck that had pulled up beside her (that had seen better days). 

“I just don’t see what the big deal is, Dad.” Alice forced herself to abandon her seething rage to glance over at the truck beside her, her eyes widening at the occupants. Fortune had indeed smiled upon her. “You can show him your AA chips. Make him give you your job back.”

“You don’t understand, boy. It doesn’t work like that. Fred...he won’t believe me. He just sees this stupid jacket, you know?” 

“Oh, I know,” Alice purred, as she slipped out of the station wagon, and leaned against the driver’s side door of the truck. “In fact, I’m glad you’re here,” she continued. “I was going to go looking for you, but, fortune, as always, favors me.” 

“Alice Cooper,” FP drawled. “What brings you around here?”

“Sorry, Mrs. Cooper,” Jughead interjected. “I’d really like Dad to get a job--”   
  


“As would I, Jughead,” she informed him. “Unfortunately I have just been given some information that makes my endorsement of this place of employment for your father even  _ less _ likely than it was before. However, I have a solution for you.” 

“For me?” FP echoed. 

“Well more practically for Jughead,” Alice allowed. “My source at Town Hall informed Harold and me that the drive in is closing,” she said. “Elizabeth tells me that you work there, Jughead. We have a part time photographer position open at the Register. I’m willing to hire you a paid intern and I will speak to Waldo Weatherbee about ensuring that it counts for class credit.”

“You’d do that for me?” 

“Of course,” Alice said. “Unlike some people we know my offers don’t come with conditions attached.”

“What are you talking about?” FP questioned. “You know something I don’t know about Freddy?” 

“I know several things,” she corrected. “I may need to utilize you and your...methods of dubious legality,” she sighed. “But we certainly can’t talk about it here. Why don’t the two of you come over?”

“Whatever makes you happy, Alice.”

* * *

  
  


“Are you sure you want to be seen with me?” FP asked Jughead tiredly, as he parked the truck on the street in front of the Coopers’ house, not wanting to follow Alice immediately in. “I understand if you’d rather go home, boy. Or to the drive in.”

“It’s fine, Dad,” Jughead said. “It will be good to be able to say goodbye to Betty. She’s going to California tomorrow.” 

FP liked the Cooper girl entirely more than he liked Red, but friends were so difficult for Jughead to find that he didn’t dare dissuade the boy from making whatever ones he could, even though the thought of him being friends with Fred’s son made his skin crawl. 

“I just wanted to be sure,” he said. “I know that I screwed up. I just...I’m really trying this time.” He scrubbed at his beard. “For you, and for your sister. I can’t believe that she’s coming home.” 

“I don’t think it’s that much of a surprise,” Jughead said softly. “Mom was making her do drug runs for her. They were living in a chop shop. I’m surprised it happened as late as it did.” He sighed. “When is she getting here, again?”

“Couple of days.” FP squinted off in the distance. “Ain’t that Alice’s older one? Margaret, or whatever?” 

“Yeah, Dad, that’s Polly. Why do you ask?” 

“What the hell is she doing with that Blossom drug runner?” 

Jughead pursed his lips. “What are you talking about, Dad?” 

“Mustang wanted us to get together with Blossom’s son about having some of the Snakelets start dealing big time. I told him no. We don’t do that shit.”

“That’s Polly’s ex,” Jughead said after a moment. “Jason Blossom. Are you sure he’s a drug dealer?” 

“He ain’t her ex,” FP said. “Do exes look like they do, boy?”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he said after a moment. “Except for the fact that I am sure that Mrs. Cooper is  _ not _ aware of this extra curricular activity of Polly’s, given that she isn’t locked away in her room. Someone should tell her, Dad. Might as well be you.”

“Boy…”

“It might be believable coming from your mouth,” he said. “Given your proclivities as of late? She’d never believe that I had any intel at all.” 

“Damn straight you don’t have intel.” 

FP ruffled Jughead’s hair before he climbed out of the cab of the truck. It was clear that neither Alice (who was unlocking her front door), nor her daughter and Blossom (who were making out with each other on Fred’s porch) had been made aware of the other’s presence. It would have been comical if he didn’t sense that Alice was about to blow. 

At least Alice was sane. 

The same could not be said for the Cooper girl. 

Jughead glanced over at the couple and wrinkled his nose. “Gross,” he mumbled. “Now, Dad, remember, we are guests in the Coopers’ house. Let’s not have a repeat of last time?” 

“Well, son, Hal Cooper moved out, so, last time won’t be happening,” he said. “But...duly noted. It was immature of me to throw that pie at him.” 

“It was a waste of food!” Jughead exclaimed. “You ruined an entire peach pie because you didn’t like a comment that he made. You need to work on priorities, Dad.” 

“Will the two of you stop bickering?” Alice said. “I have more important things to deal with than...what the  _ hell _ are they doing together?”

“Seems like they’re putting on the show for the neighborhood,” FP quipped. “Want me to scare them?”

“You know what?” Alice said. “I am so tired. I’m just going to pretend that I didn’t see that.” 

“You know he’s a drug dealer, right?” FP asked. “Blossom calls them Sugarmen.”

“I  _ said _ I would deal with it later. Not another word about them.”


	3. you don't have to say sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fred honestly didn’t see where Alice got off judging anyone at all for their relationships, given that she had married Hal Cooper during their senior year of high school, while she was locked up in that nunnery giving birth to FP Jones’ bastard child. Where the hell did she get off complaining at all about Archie’s relationships? At least he wasn’t getting people pregnant, or doing drugs. There was nothing wrong with a perfectly platonic relationship between a teacher and a student. And if Alice complained? Oh well. He’d go on the record to deny that anything had happened.

“Did you just see them walk right past us?” Polly said bitterly. “Like we don’t matter at all?” 

Jason shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t care for your parents,” he said. “They ask too many questions.”

“FP Jones is  _ not _ my father,” she said flatly. “He’s just some guy that my mom keeps around because she’s bored. You know perfectly well that my dad is Hal Cooper. Those jokes  _ aren’t _ funny, Jason.” 

“I’m just saying,” he said. “Why the hell wouldn’t he let us do that damn drop then? It would have made things ten times easier if he had let that Mustang punk ass give us those damn drugs. Now we had to resort to  _ stealing _ my dad’s. He’s going to be so pissed off if he finds out, Polly, and--”

“But he’s not going to find out,” she said, her tone both blithe and bitterly pointed. “Surely you wouldn’t be so stupid as to ruin our  _ only _ chance of getting the money and getting the hell out of here?” 

Jason bit back a sigh, and he scraped his hair back from where it had fallen out of place. He didn’t understand why Polly was so obsessed with leaving Riverdale behind and raising their baby in that farm she had heard about from his grandmother further upstate. Everyone knew that Nana Rose was crazy. Except, apparently, for Polly. Who expected him to abandon his entire life simply because he knocked her up. 

“I just think that you’re overreacting a little bit,” he said after a moment. “I mean, why can’t you just  _ tell _ your mom that you’re pregnant? If she’s willing to debase herself and associate with the leader of the Serpents, why do you think that it would be beyond her to tolerate the fact that she’s going to be a grandmother? Why does having the baby have to be the solution to this to begin with, anyways?” 

“What are you saying, Jason? That you want me to handle things? Maybe go to that appointment that my dad offered to pay for?” Polly demanded. Her eyes flashed. “I don’t understand you. The Farm is our  _ future _ and Riverdale is our past. I just don’t understand why you don’t see that?” 

“Would going to the appointment have been the worst thing in the world?” Jason chanced to ask, as Polly’s crucifix (which was dangling from her neck) caught a dangerous glint in the light, which he had to notice matched the sudden fire in her eyes. He gulped. “I’m just saying, Polly. We’re teenagers. Do you really want to be tied down by a kid for forever? Together?”

“How dare you?” She demanded. “Why don’t you see that this baby is the chance for us to be tied together, forever? They can’t say anything bad about our relationship because you’re the father of my child, Jason. We can finally be happy.” 

“Relationship?” Jason demanded. “Polly. What the hell are you talking about? What relationship? We were only fucking because I’m the captain of the football team and you  _ were _ the head cheerleader. There was no relationship. There  _ is _ no relationship. Didn’t I make that clear when Cheryl took your spot? What we had was over?” He shook his head. “Just because the damn condom broke doesn’t mean that we’re going to be a happy family together, and moving away to the farm won’t change that. I said I would try for the drop with the Serpents. You’re on your own if you want to do the drop with the shit you stole from my dad.” 

Maybe he had been slightly too harsh. Jason didn’t really know. He also didn’t really care. “How do we even know if the baby is mine? You’re  _ all over _ the book, Polly. It could be any one of them!” 

“How dare you cast aspirations against my character?” 

“Aspirations? You’re the one who expects a little pink plus sign to bring us back together!”

* * *

  
  


“I want to apologize for them,” Fred told Geraldine and Archie, after Alice had rather explosively stormed out of the office, leaving a broken door in her wake, which Fred thought was a complete and utter overreaction. “Alice is trying to come to terms with the fact that her children will be the product of a broken home,” he said smoothly. “She doesn’t approve of the unorthodox manner in which Mary and I conduct our marriage.” 

“It’s fine, Mr. Andrews,” Geraldine said. “I understand that our relationship might raise some people’s brows. That’s why Archie and I decided that we’d keep our relationship a secret until after he graduated high school. He’d be legal then, and it wouldn’t appear to be wrong. We just had a lapse of judgment, because I was led to believe that no one came to visit the construction site.” He watched as she leveled Archie with a glare. “You can imagine my surprise when we were disturbed.” 

“Well, you know what it’s like,” Fred said with a shrug. “You bounce a few checks and people get mad at you. And it’s not like Hal actually has a problem with it,” he said. “If he did he would say something. We were neighbors for decades, until she stole that house out from under his nose.” 

“I told Betty that her parents were going to get back together,” Archie supplied. “I mean, why wouldn’t they? You and Mom are planning on it, right? When you convince her to move back? I mean, you would think that living so close by would make it  _ easier _ for her parents to stop with their whole...divorce thing. Mrs. Cooper heard me and she gave me that look that she gave me when I threw my shoe at that bird. It was eating my sandwich!”

“You did throw a shoe at a trumpeter swan, Archie,” Fred said, and he ran his hands through his hair. “The actual problem is that Vic opened his big mouth and told her about what Gladys and I did to FP. She’s going to tell him and it’s going to be an  _ utter _ disaster.” He shuddered.

“You’re sure that’s the only problem you have?” Geraldine asked, her eyes wide, and her gaze unblinking. “You’re really okay with this, with what Archie and I have?”   
  


“Like you said, you’re going to wait until he’s legal,” he said. “I don’t see why I should stop Archie from being happy.”

Fred honestly didn’t see where Alice got off judging anyone at all for their relationships, given that she had married Hal Cooper  _ during _ their senior year of high school,  _ while _ she was locked up in that nunnery giving birth to FP Jones’ bastard child. Where the hell did she get off complaining at all about Archie’s relationships? At least he wasn’t getting people pregnant, or doing drugs. There was nothing wrong with a perfectly platonic relationship between a teacher and a student. And if Alice complained? Oh well. He’d go on the record to deny that anything had happened.

Clearly it was a slow week at the Register. Alice must have decided to find a new type of crime for her papers to sell. 

“Thanks, Dad,” Archie said. “You mind if we head out?” 

* * *

  
  


“I want to ask you a hypothetical question,” Alice said, after she had shooed Elizabeth and Jughead out of her house with money for the Bijou and Pops in their little hands. Polly and that boy hadn’t dared to show their faces inside of Alice’s home, so she didn’t dare tempt fate and go out to glower at them, not when she had actual issues that she needed to deal with. “May I?” 

“You can do whatever the hell you want, Alice,” FP said. “You always do.” 

She dropped down on the couch beside him, and she tucked her legs under her. FP had eaten his way through the crudites that she had hastily plated for him, she noted with satisfaction. It was good for him to eat vegetables. 

“What would your reaction be if Jughead was engaging in inappropriate behaviors with a person in a position of authority?” 

FP coughed. “You know I’m a gang leader, right? What--”

“Not a person like you,” she said. “FP, why would I not directly state if you were the problem here?” She sighed. “Not a gang leader. More like. A teacher. Or a Scoutmaster.” 

“I’d beat their goddamned asses,” he said, his tone low. “I would make it look like an accident when they got eaten by a damn snake.” 

“Would you call the police?” 

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know, Al. That depends on the crime that was committed. It would definitely be handled, though. I tell you that.” 

She watched him shove a carrot in his mouth. 

“Something happen? You kill someone? Did you kill Cooper?” 

Alice rolled her eyes. “No, I did not debase myself by killing Harold,” she said, her tone prim. “I was simply trying to ensure we were on the same page before I tell you about the latest debacle the morons next door have involved myself in.” She sighed. 

“What did Fred do?” FP demanded. “Did he try to fuck you?” 

“Don’t be so crass,” Alice said. “As if I would debase myself by sleeping with Frederick. I may be a  _ divorcee _ FP, but I have  _ some _ standards. Why would I sleep with the man who fathered one of the thorns in my side?” Alice sighed. “Do you want to hear about the disaster that was my morning, or not?”

He chuckled. She scowled. “I’m sorry, Al, it’s not funny that you had a disaster of a morning,” he said. “I just think it’s funny that your standards lower to include me, but not the boy next door.”

“You’re much more appealing than Frederick, Forsythe,” Alice purred. “But that is neither here nor there,” she said, her tone apologetic. “I have discovered that Archibald and his music teacher are engaged in a highly inappropriate  _ physical _ relationship.” 

“What? How the hell do you even know that? Were you spying on them?” 

Alice arched a brow. “I reject those accusations,” she said. “I do not  _ spy _ on people, I merely follow the boundaries set forth as the head of the neighborhood watch, and for that matter I had the great misfortune of happening upon them in the wild, if you will.” She wrinkled her nose. “Perhaps all of this could have been avoided had Archibald and his unfortunate excuse for a paramour hadn’t been parked in my direct path to...explore themselves. I just thank God that the important parts were covered when I interrupted them.” 

“And? What did Fred do?” 

“Fred?” Alice let out a bitter laugh. “Fred seems to think there’s nothing wrong with telling Archibald and that woman that he sees nothing wrong with their relationship, like it’s not grossly inappropriate for a student to be fucking a damn teacher. They fed him some bullshit about how they were going to wait until after Archie graduated to go public, but, even so, it’s just wrong.” She pursed her lips. “I told him that I was going to go to the Sheriff.” 

“And you haven’t?” 

“No. Not yet,” she said. “I was going to, but then I saw you and Jughead. And I needed to stop you from making the biggest mistake of your life.” She sighed. “I don’t want you working with him again. I understand that you want to be legally employed, that you want to do right by Jughead, and by Jellybean. But you can’t go work with him again. I won’t stand for you working for the man that conspired with your estranged wife to ruin your life,” Alice said. “Your  _ replacement  _ told me. How he and Gladys couldn’t stand that you didn’t want to be a Serpent anymore, so they planted evidence that you were selling materials from the job sites on the side, how he screwed you out of the business you legally owned by not giving you equitable terms when he released you from the company. And Fred said he didn’t see any damn thing wrong with it because it was what Gladys wanted.” She shook her head. “Heaven forbid either of them had gotten their heads out of their damn asses to realize that you were doing right by your family, that you deserved the chance to do right by them.” 

“You’re sure?” 

Alice nodded. “I have never been more certain of anything in my life,” she said. 

He chuckled bitterly. “He called me the other day,” he said. “Said that he’d seen me hanging around you. That he wondered if maybe he’d made a mistake. Firing me and shit. The only reason I considered it at all was because I didn’t want Jellybean to realize we lived in that shithole trailer. I thought maybe I could swing a place on the Northside if he gave me an advance. He was willing--”

“Fred doesn’t have two cents to rub together,” she informed him. “He is in arrears to the Register for  _ several _ thousand dollars, FP. I don’t know how he expected to be able to pay you, but…” She shook her head. “I think it would have been a bad idea.” 

“Well, of course it would have been a bad idea,” he said. “Most of my ideas tend to be.”

“Not  _ all  _ of your ideas, Jonesy,” she purred. “Just...half of them. Roughly speaking.”

“You’re real generous, Al.”


	4. like a viper in shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I did what I had to do,” she hissed. “You let Cheryl lead the Vixens over me because you thought I was fat one day! How else was I supposed to get what’s mine back? You think I want to be a loser like my Mom? Or Betty?”

“And she just...stopped your dad from heading up to Fred’s and offered you a job at the Register?” Betty echoed, her eyes wide, as she processed what Jughead had said to her, almost unable to believe that she was hearing a conversation about Alice Cooper. “I know she doesn’t like Mr. Andrews, but, geeze, Jug. I would take that,” she told him. “It would look good on your resume. And college applications. If you’re going to go.” 

“Dad said I have to,” he said, and he shrugged his shoulders. “He wants me to be the first Jones to go to college. It’s weird, Betty. Ever since that...pie throwing incident,” Jughead’s gaze looked pained as he recalled the time FP Jones had taken an entire, fresh out of the oven, peach pie, and whaled it at Hal Cooper. Jughead had considered it a terrible waste of food. Betty was still bewildered at the fact that someone had taken offense to a comment Hal had made about her mother. “When your mother made him go to that program to dry up,” he continued. “It’s like he’s...actually sobered. Like he’s really trying to be a parent.” 

Jughead shook his head. “It’s strange.” 

“Well, maybe it’s not such a bad thing,” Betty said. “That he wants you to go to college and stuff.” She shrugged. “I just don’t know how my dad is going to react to you working there.”

“Have you even seen your father since your parents got divorced?” Jughead asked. 

She shook her head. “Mom says that he’s busy finding himself,” Betty said. “I don’t know what she means by that, and I don’t really care.” 

“I don’t think that he’s in Riverdale anymore, Betty,” he said after a moment. “I’m pretty sure that he’s a co-owner of the paper in name only.”

“What?” 

“I notice things,” Jughead said. “No one notices me, so I can observe the world at large. And I really don’t think your dad’s been around. Like, at all.” He took a sip of his milkshake. “Maybe your mother killed him.”

“No,” she said. “He’s at a conference in the Ozarks. I spoke to him. The other day. On the phone.” 

She took a bite of her burger. 

The door to the diner slammed open, and Betty jumped slightly in her seat, turning her head to see who had entered. “Shit,” she whispered. “It’s Polly and Jason.”

“So what? Just ignore them.” 

It was difficult to ignore Polly and Jason, mainly due to the fact that they commanded a presence in general, and also due to the fact that they were in the midst of a heated argument, seemingly unaware to the fact that they were in public. It brought to Betty’s mind memories of Hal and Alice fighting, and she wanted to crawl under the booth and disappear. It was only Jughead’s presence that allowed to keep her cool. 

“I can’t believe you!” Polly shrieked, and Betty curled her hands into fists, feeling her nails press against her palms. “How  _ dare _ you imply that just because I was in that book I slept with everyone on the football team?” 

“I’m  _ not _ implying anything!” Jason exclaimed. “I’m stating the facts! You’re a whore, Polly, and until I find out that baby’s mine, I’m not going to be involved!”

“I did what I had to do,” she hissed. “You let Cheryl lead the Vixens over me because you thought I was fat one day! How  _ else _ was I supposed to get what’s  _ mine _ back? You think I want to be a  _ loser _ like my Mom? Or Betty?”

Betty wanted to burst into tears. 

“It was  _ your _ decision to let her lead them, because you knew Betty would go crying to your Serpent  _ slut _ of a mother if you called her season 5 Betty Draper!” Jason said, his arms stretched outward. “What did you think would happen? That she’d give them back to you?” 

“They are  _ my _ River Vixens!” Polly said, and she gave Jason a shove. “And I stand by my comments. She is fat. And if she doesn’t stop hanging around the Jones boy people will think  _ she’s _ a Serpent slut, too.”   
  


Betty felt her heart start to pound, and she dug her nails into her palms, trying to retain her state of semi-calm. 

“Betty?” Jughead asked, the concern evident in his tone. “Are you okay?” 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“What’s the matter?” FP asked Alice softly, once the kids were out of the house, and they were alone. “Are you upset about Betty having to go to Hal’s for part of the summer?” 

“She’s not going,” Alice said. “He said he doesn’t want to see her.” 

“The boy said she’s going to California, though,” he said. “What’s that about?” 

Alice let out a heavy sigh. “Some stupid internship he signed her up for before our divorce went through,” she said. “I am tempted to just let her blow it off and stay home. I am so tired of him trying to send her away from me for the summer.” 

“So? Don’t make her go? That’s an option, isn’t it?” He slipped an arm around her shoulders. “If you wanted to send one away, couldn’t you pick the older one? She’s fucking obnoxious, Al. If you ask me.”

“She’s her father’s daughter,” Alice said with a sigh, and she leaned into his touch. “You know that you don’t have to work for Fred to...impress me, or whatever,” she told him. “I don’t care about things like that. I said that I wanted you to be sober before we...did anything, and you are. And you have been.” She snuggled closer to him. He tightened his hold on her. “And if you don’t want Jellybean feeling uncomfortable with the fact that you’re living in a trailer, you can always live with me. With us.”

“Your daughter won’t like that,” he warned.

“I don’t care what Polly thinks,” she said. “If she has an issue with it, she can go with her father, like I wanted her to when we got divorced.” She sighed. “If you actually think that  _ I _ base my decisions on what the  _ children _ want me to do, you have another thing coming.” 

FP nodded. “Well, Al, I’m not gonna say no,” he said. “If that’s what you want. If you think that you’re ready for that.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I’d like nothing more than to be in the open about our relationship, to be a family with you.” 

“I want that too,” she said. 

“And I don’t think that Betty should be traipsing across the country to go to some shady internship that your idiot prick ex signed her up for,” he said. “Has anyone even seen Harold since the two of you got divorced? Has he been to work?” 

“No,” Alice admitted. “I don’t know where he is,” she said. “Why? Do you?” 

“Haven’t the faintest idea,” he said. “I have better things to do than keep tabs on Hal Cooper.” 

Not that FP hadn’t thought of having Harold dealt with. He had to admit it had been tempting. But the truth was that he had just left things as they were. Alice knew where he was if she needed him, and she was a strong woman. She was fully capable of bludgeoning Hal with a household object if things got out of hand. She knew where to find him.

“You want to watch a movie?” She asked, and he nodded. “Yeah,” she continued. “A movie would be nice.” 

“Don’t have any issues with that, Al,” he said, and he allowed his arm to fall away from her so she could get up. “You pick whatever you want.” 

She flashed a grin at him. “Even if it’s a chick flick?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Whatever you want.” The specific movie didn’t matter to him. What mattered was getting to spend time with Alice. Like they were a real couple. Because they were. “You set it up and come right back here to me.” 

“Don’t I always?” Alice placed the DVD in the player and returned to her position beside him, the remote in her hand. “Remember this?” The menu to Candyman was playing, and he grinned down at her. 

“Not really,” he admitted. “Think we were more focused on each other than the picture that day.” 

“Mmm,” she hummed, her tone noncommittal. “I think that we can give the movie the respect that it deserves, right? As mature adults?” 

“Right,” he said, as his phone went off on the table in front of him. “Should I ignore that?”

“No,” she said. “What if it’s the kids?” 

FP wasn’t really used to the boy trying to get in touch with him. He was pretty sure that the boy wasn’t used to it either. But he really didn’t want to set off a bad precedent of ignoring him, so he scooped the phone off the table, and his glasses out of his front pocket, and he read the text. 

“Jughead says he thinks Betty’s having a panic attack,” he told her. “They’re at Pop’s.”

“We have to go there,” she whispered. “I can’t let her--”

“I know, Al,” he said. The movie paused on the screen. “I’ll go with you. We’ll be a team here.”

“A team?”

“Yeah,” he said. “A team.” 

  
  
  



	5. with my eyes on the clock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ms. Grundy, I’m sorry,” Archie said, his tone soft. “I didn’t mean to do anything illegal, or break any laws. I was just walking home from work and you stopped me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's important for me to state that I do not in any way shape or form agree with the relationship between Archie and Geraldine.

“What’s wrong?” Archie asked Geraldine, who had been sitting in the driver’s seat of her Beetle for a few moments of silence, which had been growing increasingly awkward. “I thought that went well.” 

“What are you talking about?” Geraldine’s eyes flashed. “What part of that went well? Everyone knowing about our little...dalliance?” 

Archie nodded. It was unfortunate that Betty’s mom had reacted so badly to the fact that he was dating Ms. Grundy, this was true, but his dad had agreed that they were right to have their relationship, and, well, Mrs. Cooper would get over it. Nothing he did was ever good enough for her, even if it was making sure that he wasn’t going to date Betty. All she cared about was that it was ‘illegal’, or something absolutely ridiculous. Just because she didn’t believe in love -- just because she’d been like his mother and gotten a divorce instead of being satisfied with the life she’d lived on Elm Street -- didn’t mean that he was going to let her negative attitude color his relationship with Geraldine. He didn’t know what Mrs. Cooper’s friend Mary Kay had to do with anything. He also didn’t care. 

“You don’t understand,” she said. “I thought I told you that what we have has to be a secret. And now not only does that busybody neighbor of yours know, so does your father, and two of his employees! Why don’t we just take out an ad in the Riverdale Register?”

“I don’t think Mrs. Cooper will let us,” he said, and he ran a hand through his hair. “Didn’t you hear her? Dad owes her money. I could ask Betty…”   
  


“You will ask no one. I was being sarcastic, Archie. Why don’t you understand what this has caused? I’m a teacher, Archie. It was supposed to be a secret because I’m a teacher! What if Jason finds out…”

“Jason?”

“He won’t want to do our private lessons anymore,” she muttered. “I told him that what we had was special, and you go and pull a stunt like this--”

“You’re cheating on me?” Archie demanded. “Why?”   
  


“It’s not cheating, Archie. It’s exploring my options. You can’t expect me to settle for just one paramour, do you?”

“I--”

Truthfully, Archie had assumed he was Geraldine’s only boyfriend, but he supposed that if she was an adult, it was okay for her to have others along with him. It was a blow to his pride, but, if being an adult meant that he accepted those things? He would. 100 percent. 

“I’ll speak to her,” he said. “Mrs. Cooper. I’ll tell her that we ended things. That you want nothing more to do with me. That you’ve moved on.”   
  


“That’s the  _ least _ you can do,” she hissed. “I can’t believe you don’t see what this could do to our reputations. It could give you a record--”

“What are you talking about?” 

“Well, you heard her,” she sniffed. “If it’s illegal, that’s not just on me. You’re going to get in trouble too. How would your mother come home, then? Why would she? After her son brought shame upon her family?” 

“I--”

“What?” 

“Ms. Grundy, I’m sorry,” Archie said, his tone soft. “I didn’t mean to do anything illegal, or break any laws. I was just walking home from work and  _ you _ stopped me.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses,” she said. “I was your teacher. You should have kept walking.” 

“I’ll walk now,” he offered. “Unlock the doors and let me go. You’ll never have to see me again.”

“I don’t think so,” she hissed. “We’re a couple now. That mean that I can do whatever the hell I want. You don’t get a single say.”

* * *

  
  
  


“I just don’t understand what you were thinking, Margaret Cooper,” Alice said, her non-amusement evident in her tone. “Why can’t you just leave your sister alone?” 

“Betty? She’s not my sister,” Polly scoffed. “She’s a Serpent Slut, just like you are, Mother. You think I don’t know what you did when you were in high school? Got pregnant with a Serpent’s baby and went crying to Dad, like my father would  _ ever _ disgrace himself by raising a child with bad blood--”   
  


“Shut up, Margaret. If you’re so enamoured with your father, why don’t you track him down and move in with him? You obviously can’t stand myself and Elizabeth, so, why not live with Harold? I’ll let you go. I don’t have a single issue with that.”

“She can’t,” a male voice interjected, and Alice eyed the Blossom boy with suspicious eyes. “He won’t let her.” 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” she snapped. “Harold won’t have a choice. He wanted to share custody of her, he can damn well deal with her. Why, pray tell, does he no longer desire the company of his precious Polly?” 

“Because she’s pregnant,” Jason said. “See? That was easy.” 

“He’s  _ lying _ to you,” Polly exclaimed. “He’s full of fucking shit!”

“I don’t think that your mother is going to buy that excuse when she finds you giving birth in your closet months from now--”

“She  _ won’t _ find anything--”   
  


“Really?” Jason questioned. “What are you gonna do, Poll? Not something you can easily get rid of when it pops out, is it?” 

“Dad said he would make sure it didn’t exist,” she hissed. “And, so, it doesn’t. Exist. If you don’t want to step up and be its father, I sure as  _ hell _ want nothing to do with it.” 

Alice drew in a deep breath. Polly was causing a scene, and Alice didn’t have any desire to figure out what was the truth and what was a lie, she just wanted to get the girl to shut up. Betty had thankfully returned to a normal coloring, and was sipping a milkshake that FP had ordered. That still didn’t erase the fact that Polly had induced a panic attack in her sister for what Alice could see was absolutely no reason whatsoever -- as far as she was concerned Harold could do  _ whatever _ he wanted to any hypothetical children Polly wanted. There was something wrong with the girl, and Alice had no idea what it was. 

“Could you elaborate?” Alice was tired. The Blossom boy seemed within the range of sanity. 

“Mom--”   
  


“Don’t say a word, Polly.” 

“The jocks have a book,” Jason said after a moment. “In which we...rate our sexual escapades. We had to give the River Vixens a new captain after Polly ran down the list, Mrs. Cooper. She’s crazy--”

“I told you, I was okay with it,” Polly said. “If it meant Cheryl would ban Betty from the squad! You were supposed to give them back to me!”   
  


“You were supposed to be  _ my _ girlfriend!”

“Enough,” Alice said. “I did not raise you to be putting yourself out there to be used as a sex toy for the pig headed athletes of Riverdale High, young lady. As for you, Jason, did you not think that there was a  _ reason _ that Harold and I did not want you dating Polly? I don’t know what his reasoning is, but mine had everything to do with her  _ erratic  _ behavior -- she needs therapy, not some red-headed boyfriend to occupy her time with--”

“Probably because we’re related,” Jason said with a shrug. “Hal and my parents are cousins.”

“Dad said that he didn’t care about that,” she sniffed. “It was only after I said the baby might not be yours that he got all weird about things.”

**Author's Note:**

> This chapter draws from Luxken27's summer challenge for 2019 -- prompt being used is drive


End file.
